I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize