ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
