he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Why did my mother make you get naked?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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