i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
