I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
