remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
