i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize