The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
