He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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