I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
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