he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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