nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
