all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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