naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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