no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
