i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
