I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Randomize
