my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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