I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
