i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
