Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
