One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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