I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
