soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
