Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize