What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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