i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
