There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
