i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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