Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
