So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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