If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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