I think I just saw someone hide a body.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
