I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
