I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
