lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
