chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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