He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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