We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just threw up on my dentist
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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