I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
