This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
