I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
