we're blogging at a bar
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize