just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
