Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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