just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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