I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
