STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I forgot wine drunk hurts
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
