doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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