the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
