You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
