I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
