lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
