you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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