Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
