Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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