Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
