GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
