Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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