So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
